Got questions about caring for your elderly loved one? Our experts provide advice to some tough questions.
Convincing Mom to Accept Help
Q: My 85-year-old mother is increasingly less able to manage living on her own. How do I encourage her to use services that can help her maintain independence?
A: Approach the subject firmly, with tenderness and compassion. Imagine yourself in her shoes. She might be resistant because she is afraid of losing control of her life.
- Be sure to include her in the decision-making process. Be positive and patient. Allow her time to process the idea and accept her limitations. This will make her more comfortable.
- Involve others as necessary - a friend, clergy, etc.
- Suggest that she just try the service, letting her know that ultimately the decision to continue is hers.
- Last but not least, accept your mother's right to reject your suggestion. A competent adult has the right to make poor decisions. Even if you do not agree and find the rejection frustrating, ultimately the choice should be hers.
Suspecting Alzheimer's Disease
Q: How do I know the time has come when my loved one, whom I suspect may have Alzheimer's disease or some other form of dementia, is no longer safe and secure at home alone?
A: Ask him to call you in an hour. Does he follow through with this simple request? Does he wander off and then not know where he is? Does he often not finish a sentence completely? Does he have blackouts or seem unaware of a recent event?
If your loved one cannot follow through with calling you at an appointed time, or if you answer yes to any of the questions, ask a primary care physician for a neurological referral for dementia testing.
If your loved one is diagnosed with dementia, contact a professional care manager with dementia expertise to obtain advice on finding the best care. A diagnosis of dementia can be upsetting. It is important to receive guidance from an expert when dealing with these issues.
Living Alone and at a Risk for Falls
Q: I really worry about my 75-year-old mother living alone. She is relatively healthy, but has osteoporosis and arthritis. She doesn't require a cane or walker to move around, but she is on several medications. What can I do?
A: It appears that your mother is at risk for a fall. In fact, she may have already had one, but was afraid to tell you. Among older adults, falls are the number one cause for loss of independence. In your mother's situation, a medical alert could be a good option for her to get help quickly in the event of a fall or other health emergency.
The help button to the alert could be worn discreetly, so others wouldn't even know she has it on. When you talk to her about your concerns, be positive and persistent. Let her know the alert could provide both you and your mother peace of mind.
Is It Alzheimer's Disease, or Something Else?
Q: Lately my mother has been forgetting names and important appointments. Could she have Alzheimer's disease? What are some other symptoms of the disease?
A: Many other problems besides Alzheimer's disease can cause memory loss. Other reasons may include:
- Side effects from medication, even those she has been taking for some time.
- Head injury
- Depression
- Dehydration
- Infection
- Strokes
- Alcoholism
Some warning signs of Alzheimer's disease include:
- Difficulty performing familiar tasks, like following a recipe
- Disorientation to time and place
- Decreased judgement
- Changes in mood, behavior or personality
Could any of these pertain to your mother? It's important that she see her doctor
Have more questions? Learn more about our Care Consultation service.
